How do you like your eggs? Personally, I enjoy them in most ways that they can be prepared, especially if they are accompanied by bacon, or sausage, or coffee. But there's one egg out there that most people just do not like - the goose egg. For some, it's what happens when your whack your forehead on something solid it shouldn't have made contact with (hardwood floor, wiffle ball bat, Alejandro's elbow, etc.) For others, it is just a fun way to say zero. But why did geese get a bad rap, you ask? I'm not sure of that, but I'm very sure I don't like the egg laid by the Fightin' Five-Ways this past week. No need to run down which categories I won, so let's just analyze the damage.
Fortunately, like most of those bumps on the forehead, this wasn't quite as bad as it looked. Most hitters (term used loosely) did something positive, and when I write something, I mean one thing. Check out Cristian Guzman's .414 average! What about Cody Ross' two late-week home runs? Pedroia stole two bases! Only a couple of guys had truly awful performances, but when you combine those with a lot of mediocre outings you get, um, mediwful? awfocre? Well, whatever you want to call it it wasn't good enough.
The kids from Queen City came closer on the mound than they did in the box. Huston Street came through with a save on Sunday to earn a tie there. Despite only five starts, we managed to stay equal in wins. ERA and WHIP were close and could have been victories. But with Bedard landing on the DL and my foolish decision to trust Bobby Parnell with anything besides baby toys, things did not break our way. In summary, Mr. Mistoffelees put it best in our week-long chat: "I'm getting the feeling looking at these numbers that this could be a very frustrating week for one or both of us." File that one under factually correct, please.
But like most imaginary baseball teams, a new week means a chance to brush off the dirt, re-apply the eye black, and accumulate better stats! This week brings the challenge of Mix Tape Ian, who currently rests comfortably in 2nd place in the Anne Hathaway Division. He's not the only man who ever made a mix tape, but he did share on the podcast the sad tale of how his artistic creation, complete with heart-felt introductions to each song just for his special girl, was played at a party where all of his friends could hear each and every amorous sigh. Yeah, he's got new friends now. His team is good, and even more scarily, they're really strong in the same categories as my squad. This could get ugly, but hopefully not this ugly. Fingers crossed...
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