When glass breaks, the cracks move at speeds up to 3,000 miles per hour. Also, the genes of identical twins are not identical. Shocking facts, you say? What about a week with 17 home runs for a team whose best offensive player is Ichiro? Yes, the Five-Ways now have the record for the most home runs hit in a week in this year's Man's League. Incredible, indeed. But one statistic does not a week make! Let's get to the rest of them.
Obviously, the rest of the offense cannot help but be impacted by those home runs. Runs, RBI, and average followed suit as Jermaine Dye fully recovered from a calf twinge to smack three out, score six, hit .500 and knock in seven. My squad's power surge wasn't necessary though, as Ian's crew had a rough week. Except for steals, where he took home the bacon while my 'power hitters' were left licking up the grease.
With the hurlers, things were more closely contested. Huston Street continues to be a fine acquisition, nailing down saves all by himself. And massive kudos to Tim Wakefield, who not only put up a fine fantasy performance, but did so with yours truly in attendance, making sitting outside for three hours in the Georgia heat well worth it. Timmy's work went a long way toward securing ERA, while we can just blame Derek Lowe for the loss in WHIP. Ian managed to snag both wins and K's, but he could have had more if he had believed in Jordan Zimmermann, and his Wisconsin-Stevens Point pedigree. Tsk, tsk, Ian.
Well, it is time to wrap this up. Oh - I didn't add up the score? Yes, it was 6-4 in the end, once again proving that Germans do love David Hasselhoff. Err, rather that one category does not a week make. For my next trick, I will take on Peanut Rico, he of the not-so embarrassing nickname and now famous answering machine. Rico got into the Man's League with his witty Princess Bride reference and his team has been hampered lately by the DL stint of Josh Hamilton, who could be back just in time to ruin my week on Saturday. But he might not be if the Rangers decide to be extra cautious. Fingers crossed...
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Week 11 v. Mr. Mistoffelees
How do you like your eggs? Personally, I enjoy them in most ways that they can be prepared, especially if they are accompanied by bacon, or sausage, or coffee. But there's one egg out there that most people just do not like - the goose egg. For some, it's what happens when your whack your forehead on something solid it shouldn't have made contact with (hardwood floor, wiffle ball bat, Alejandro's elbow, etc.) For others, it is just a fun way to say zero. But why did geese get a bad rap, you ask? I'm not sure of that, but I'm very sure I don't like the egg laid by the Fightin' Five-Ways this past week. No need to run down which categories I won, so let's just analyze the damage.
Fortunately, like most of those bumps on the forehead, this wasn't quite as bad as it looked. Most hitters (term used loosely) did something positive, and when I write something, I mean one thing. Check out Cristian Guzman's .414 average! What about Cody Ross' two late-week home runs? Pedroia stole two bases! Only a couple of guys had truly awful performances, but when you combine those with a lot of mediocre outings you get, um, mediwful? awfocre? Well, whatever you want to call it it wasn't good enough.
The kids from Queen City came closer on the mound than they did in the box. Huston Street came through with a save on Sunday to earn a tie there. Despite only five starts, we managed to stay equal in wins. ERA and WHIP were close and could have been victories. But with Bedard landing on the DL and my foolish decision to trust Bobby Parnell with anything besides baby toys, things did not break our way. In summary, Mr. Mistoffelees put it best in our week-long chat: "I'm getting the feeling looking at these numbers that this could be a very frustrating week for one or both of us." File that one under factually correct, please.
But like most imaginary baseball teams, a new week means a chance to brush off the dirt, re-apply the eye black, and accumulate better stats! This week brings the challenge of Mix Tape Ian, who currently rests comfortably in 2nd place in the Anne Hathaway Division. He's not the only man who ever made a mix tape, but he did share on the podcast the sad tale of how his artistic creation, complete with heart-felt introductions to each song just for his special girl, was played at a party where all of his friends could hear each and every amorous sigh. Yeah, he's got new friends now. His team is good, and even more scarily, they're really strong in the same categories as my squad. This could get ugly, but hopefully not this ugly. Fingers crossed...
Fortunately, like most of those bumps on the forehead, this wasn't quite as bad as it looked. Most hitters (term used loosely) did something positive, and when I write something, I mean one thing. Check out Cristian Guzman's .414 average! What about Cody Ross' two late-week home runs? Pedroia stole two bases! Only a couple of guys had truly awful performances, but when you combine those with a lot of mediocre outings you get, um, mediwful? awfocre? Well, whatever you want to call it it wasn't good enough.
The kids from Queen City came closer on the mound than they did in the box. Huston Street came through with a save on Sunday to earn a tie there. Despite only five starts, we managed to stay equal in wins. ERA and WHIP were close and could have been victories. But with Bedard landing on the DL and my foolish decision to trust Bobby Parnell with anything besides baby toys, things did not break our way. In summary, Mr. Mistoffelees put it best in our week-long chat: "I'm getting the feeling looking at these numbers that this could be a very frustrating week for one or both of us." File that one under factually correct, please.
But like most imaginary baseball teams, a new week means a chance to brush off the dirt, re-apply the eye black, and accumulate better stats! This week brings the challenge of Mix Tape Ian, who currently rests comfortably in 2nd place in the Anne Hathaway Division. He's not the only man who ever made a mix tape, but he did share on the podcast the sad tale of how his artistic creation, complete with heart-felt introductions to each song just for his special girl, was played at a party where all of his friends could hear each and every amorous sigh. Yeah, he's got new friends now. His team is good, and even more scarily, they're really strong in the same categories as my squad. This could get ugly, but hopefully not this ugly. Fingers crossed...
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Week 10 v. Bedwetter Brent
"Look what you did to Mr. Bigglesworth!" shouted Kevin Millar from the top of the dugout steps on Sunday, as the Five-Ways celebrated a monster victory. So which part of that was factually correct? The part that fits with a score of 9-1, that's what part. The offense came through big time against a league leader, with 9 different players going yard and all but one contributing a run to the cause. Star points go to Cogs, or Florida Marlins rookie Chris Coghlan, who looked a lot like a real big-league leadoff hitter with 6 runs scored, 2 swipes, and a fresh-from-the-oven .379 average.
On the mound, things weren't quite so pretty. Derek Lowe appeared normal in his first start of the week, but got roughed up on Sunday, nearly costing the team both ERA and WHIP. Fortunately, Brent had even worse luck with his starters at the end of the week. So despite awful numbers in those columns and injury concerns for Bedard & Oswalt, the hurlers did enough to keep control of their ratios. The amazing disappearing closer, Huston Street, showed up as a horse all week long, easily wrapping up saves for the team. The only category lost was strikeouts, which was sacrificed upon Brent's plaintive cry of "Throw me a frickin' bone here!"
What does it all mean? It means third place on the ladder for now. While I am excited for all this success, it can't keep up exactly like this. Later in the season this will be probably the 'hot pocket' put up by the offense. Surely my guys can't keep hitting for power like this, can they? The pitching needs to get better in order for the plan to work. Roy Oswalt, that means YOU. Starting this week, please.
This week, you say? The matchup is Mr. Mistoffelees, a fellow UGA man (a May graduate), who is now famous for doing the not-so-manly thing of dressing like the character from 'Cats' for a Halloween party. I'm hoping he's still local now that I'm in Georgia and the winner can have a beverage purchased for them at a nearby establishment. But I don't want to anger him. If Mr. Bigglesworth is any indication, you don't want to mess with cats who have honorific names. I suppose I will have to update after the week is over, Mr. M has replied electronically, and victory has been achieved. Fingers crossed...
On the mound, things weren't quite so pretty. Derek Lowe appeared normal in his first start of the week, but got roughed up on Sunday, nearly costing the team both ERA and WHIP. Fortunately, Brent had even worse luck with his starters at the end of the week. So despite awful numbers in those columns and injury concerns for Bedard & Oswalt, the hurlers did enough to keep control of their ratios. The amazing disappearing closer, Huston Street, showed up as a horse all week long, easily wrapping up saves for the team. The only category lost was strikeouts, which was sacrificed upon Brent's plaintive cry of "Throw me a frickin' bone here!"
What does it all mean? It means third place on the ladder for now. While I am excited for all this success, it can't keep up exactly like this. Later in the season this will be probably the 'hot pocket' put up by the offense. Surely my guys can't keep hitting for power like this, can they? The pitching needs to get better in order for the plan to work. Roy Oswalt, that means YOU. Starting this week, please.
This week, you say? The matchup is Mr. Mistoffelees, a fellow UGA man (a May graduate), who is now famous for doing the not-so-manly thing of dressing like the character from 'Cats' for a Halloween party. I'm hoping he's still local now that I'm in Georgia and the winner can have a beverage purchased for them at a nearby establishment. But I don't want to anger him. If Mr. Bigglesworth is any indication, you don't want to mess with cats who have honorific names. I suppose I will have to update after the week is over, Mr. M has replied electronically, and victory has been achieved. Fingers crossed...
Week 9 v. Sixteen Brendan
Welcome back, Hiroki Kuroda! A second straight fantastic return from the disabled list highlighted a nice week for the Five-Ways. Mr. Bedard showed up his former teammates with more than 11 innings of quality pitching. That means once again the staff held down ERA & WHIP. Unfortunately Brendan's never-ending stream of crappy pitchers netted him both strikeouts and wins. And all we needed was one lone save to take care of that area. Brendan's been punting saves all season, even if he wasn't trying to (Brandon Morrow, cough, cough).
Woohoo for offense! Apparently the entire fictional clubhouse loves Luke Scott. Since his return, many have awoken from the dead. Andre Ethier finally stopped moping about Manny and hit the baseball again. Steals continues to be a team effort, with waiver-wire heroes like David Murphy contributing. Even Geovany Soto managed to make solid contact once during the week and put the ball out of the park. Did we? Yes, we did. All five offensive categories went to the kids from the Queen City. That makes the final score 8-2.
Now to the biggest news of the week. Or what I thought would be the biggest news. At least until the end of the week. Only Monday evening, I finished a deal to get more saves in the form of Huston Street of the Colorado Rockies. But did he pitch for me this week? um, no. And neither did the outgoing party, Joe Saunders, whom I wisely sat that evening as he got roughed up. That's probably my final deal for a while. I've traded away starting pitching to gain in another area, without weakening the team I was fielding. Thanks to Kuroda's return, I think I actually upgraded my rotation. And as much as I like Saunders, he was a really fair price to pay for a decent closer. I would still like to get more offense somehow, but right now the hitters are hitting.
Speaking of hitters, in week 10 I shall face Bedwetter Brent. That's right, poor Brent had a crush on the girl next door when he was in elementary school. And then there was a family emergency - he had to spend the night at the neighbor's house. And he spent that night in her house IN HER BED. Upon awaking in the morning, he had done more than sleep in that bed. Yep, he had used it as a water closet. So much for the crush. But welcome to the Man's League, Bedwetter Brent! Embarrassing childhood stories now equal comedy gold on the worldwide leader! So ahem, yes, his team is pretty good. He's at 55-30-5, currently second in the Anne Hathaway Division. A tough opponent to be sure, but the Man's League is a wild and wacky place, even for the world of fantasy baseball. That means everyone's got a shot in every week. Fingers crossed...
Woohoo for offense! Apparently the entire fictional clubhouse loves Luke Scott. Since his return, many have awoken from the dead. Andre Ethier finally stopped moping about Manny and hit the baseball again. Steals continues to be a team effort, with waiver-wire heroes like David Murphy contributing. Even Geovany Soto managed to make solid contact once during the week and put the ball out of the park. Did we? Yes, we did. All five offensive categories went to the kids from the Queen City. That makes the final score 8-2.
Now to the biggest news of the week. Or what I thought would be the biggest news. At least until the end of the week. Only Monday evening, I finished a deal to get more saves in the form of Huston Street of the Colorado Rockies. But did he pitch for me this week? um, no. And neither did the outgoing party, Joe Saunders, whom I wisely sat that evening as he got roughed up. That's probably my final deal for a while. I've traded away starting pitching to gain in another area, without weakening the team I was fielding. Thanks to Kuroda's return, I think I actually upgraded my rotation. And as much as I like Saunders, he was a really fair price to pay for a decent closer. I would still like to get more offense somehow, but right now the hitters are hitting.
Speaking of hitters, in week 10 I shall face Bedwetter Brent. That's right, poor Brent had a crush on the girl next door when he was in elementary school. And then there was a family emergency - he had to spend the night at the neighbor's house. And he spent that night in her house IN HER BED. Upon awaking in the morning, he had done more than sleep in that bed. Yep, he had used it as a water closet. So much for the crush. But welcome to the Man's League, Bedwetter Brent! Embarrassing childhood stories now equal comedy gold on the worldwide leader! So ahem, yes, his team is pretty good. He's at 55-30-5, currently second in the Anne Hathaway Division. A tough opponent to be sure, but the Man's League is a wild and wacky place, even for the world of fantasy baseball. That means everyone's got a shot in every week. Fingers crossed...
Week 8 v. Single Thong Joe
Every content producer/publisher eventually has to give in. You know, sacrifice depth, variance, and skillful execution in their reporting in favor of the simpleton either-or format that consumers greedily lap up like Little Leaguers with post-game ice cream. So here goes nothing: your first ever good v. evil Man's League Blog.
Good: Luke Scott went absolutely crazy. Like so crazy Mike Tyson saw the SportsCenter scroll and immediately drove to the nearest tattoo parlor and got a red and purple dragon that extends from his right ear lobe to his left underarm and blows fire all the way across his back, all in the hopes of possibly reclaiming his spot in the pantheon of insanity. When Scott came off the DL, I was pleased to have him back in the lineup. Never did I expect 6 HR, 14 RBI, and .444 average in one week. Wow.
Evil: Despite all of that, I still lost RBI and average. ugh.
Good: Eric Bedard pitched very well in his debut for the Queen City Five-Ways.
Evil: Joe got three beastly pitching performances on Monday from "Lawnmower Man" Zack Greinke, "Big Fat" Livan Hernandez, and "Mad" Max Scherzer. Then he proceeded to bench his other starters the rest of the week. Not only did this allow him to lock in ratio categories like ERA and WHIP, but it also took advantage of my team's inability to strike anyone out. Even in a game against a lineup full of Rob Deers my squad couldn't get more then 7 K's. So I lost ALL pitching categories.
Good: My boys scored a ton of runs - 51 exactly. In fact, this team strength is now in the top three in the entire league. That gives me four very strong categories overall (ERA, WHIP, & W as well).
Evil: All those runs only got me a tie in that category. Sheesh. And now Joe has leaped past me in the Megan Fox Division standings.
In summary, I got beat by a big score this week. But it was much closer than that. I was actually ahead on Sunday afternoon by a score of 5-4-1. Then his offense stepped it up enough to take down my unusually good numbers. A lot of positive signs, but not a lot to show for it.
Hopefully at the end of this first week of June I will have something to show for it, because I face Sixteen Brendan (remember him, my trading buddy?). That means Bedard and Buerhle face their former teams, with both squads really needing a win. What will happen? Wait, that's too open-ended for this format. Ketchup or Mustard? Paper or Plastic? Fingers crossed...
Good: Luke Scott went absolutely crazy. Like so crazy Mike Tyson saw the SportsCenter scroll and immediately drove to the nearest tattoo parlor and got a red and purple dragon that extends from his right ear lobe to his left underarm and blows fire all the way across his back, all in the hopes of possibly reclaiming his spot in the pantheon of insanity. When Scott came off the DL, I was pleased to have him back in the lineup. Never did I expect 6 HR, 14 RBI, and .444 average in one week. Wow.
Evil: Despite all of that, I still lost RBI and average. ugh.
Good: Eric Bedard pitched very well in his debut for the Queen City Five-Ways.
Evil: Joe got three beastly pitching performances on Monday from "Lawnmower Man" Zack Greinke, "Big Fat" Livan Hernandez, and "Mad" Max Scherzer. Then he proceeded to bench his other starters the rest of the week. Not only did this allow him to lock in ratio categories like ERA and WHIP, but it also took advantage of my team's inability to strike anyone out. Even in a game against a lineup full of Rob Deers my squad couldn't get more then 7 K's. So I lost ALL pitching categories.
Good: My boys scored a ton of runs - 51 exactly. In fact, this team strength is now in the top three in the entire league. That gives me four very strong categories overall (ERA, WHIP, & W as well).
Evil: All those runs only got me a tie in that category. Sheesh. And now Joe has leaped past me in the Megan Fox Division standings.
In summary, I got beat by a big score this week. But it was much closer than that. I was actually ahead on Sunday afternoon by a score of 5-4-1. Then his offense stepped it up enough to take down my unusually good numbers. A lot of positive signs, but not a lot to show for it.
Hopefully at the end of this first week of June I will have something to show for it, because I face Sixteen Brendan (remember him, my trading buddy?). That means Bedard and Buerhle face their former teams, with both squads really needing a win. What will happen? Wait, that's too open-ended for this format. Ketchup or Mustard? Paper or Plastic? Fingers crossed...
Week 7 v. Nipple Jeff
With this entry, I will finally be on track again. Expect a regular post on Monday. To start with, it seemed like Nipple Jeff's team would be the weakest I'd faced in a while. He admitted it himself in our chat at the start of the week. Jeff also admitted that rooting against my guys would be rough on him: "this kind of stinks, as I've got a ton of the players on your team, on other fantasy teams....they should come up with a name for that." Well, it looks likes his other teams must have had a nice week for themselves. And for me. For starters, my starting pitching returned to form... and more. Took ERA, WHIP, and wins with awesome numbers, thanks in large part to two great starts from Mark Buehrle, Wakefield, & Lowe and a Joe Saunders shut-out. Tied saves but lost strikeouts. More on Buehrle and strikeouts later.
At the plate, the star was trash-heap pickup Mr. Willy Aybar, whom Jeff owned earlier in the year. Chilly Willy got hot real fast when facing his former team, going six for seventeen with 2 homers, 5 knocked in, and 7 runs scored. Platoon players Kevin Millar, Seth Smith, and David Murphy each had a long ball. This led to victory in the home run and runs categories. My team speed netted me steals, and that was all I needed for a 6-3-1 victory on the week. Still stuck in fourth place in the division and eighth overall, but I was happy to stay there rather than drop again.
The big deal of the week was the trade market - my pitching has been solid, and so I decided to deal from strength. Did I acquire a hitter? I tried to, but in the end I was happy with the deal I made. Sixteen Brendan (whose name should be SEVENTEEN Brendan as that's the actual name of the girl's magazine to which he is addicted) is sitting near the bottom of the standings and had a struggling first rounder in Jimmy Rollins. I also saw he had Mr. Eric Bedard, I player I like but always find the price to be too high. I tried to get them both, and convinced Brendan I was desperate for Bedard, all the while offering solid-producing Dustin Pedroia for Rollins. I ended up getting Bedard for Buerhle. Brendan may get a few more wins out of it, and hopefully I'll get a lot more strikeouts since Bedard has a good K rate (8.95 K per 9 innings) and Buerhle never strikes out anyone. I still may deal pitching away once Hiroki Kuroda comes back and hopefully get some power hitting in return. Somewhat related: Nipple Jeff is also trying to deal away starting pitching, so the market may be crowded. In summary: I'm happy I made a deal, but sad I didn't get Rollins.
In Week 9 I face Single Thong Joe, who got into the league by trying to do something not-so manly and got caught by his girlfriend. That's right, she walked in as he was trying on one of her thongs. She bolted and wouldn't speak to him for over a week. Her dad called Joe and set up a delivery date for her stuff to be handed off to him. Somehow, once she listened to the story of why he was doing such a ridiculous thing (to get into an exclusive ESPN fantasy league), she took him back. Are they still together right now? Will they break up over my approaching victory over Joe? Fingers crossed...
At the plate, the star was trash-heap pickup Mr. Willy Aybar, whom Jeff owned earlier in the year. Chilly Willy got hot real fast when facing his former team, going six for seventeen with 2 homers, 5 knocked in, and 7 runs scored. Platoon players Kevin Millar, Seth Smith, and David Murphy each had a long ball. This led to victory in the home run and runs categories. My team speed netted me steals, and that was all I needed for a 6-3-1 victory on the week. Still stuck in fourth place in the division and eighth overall, but I was happy to stay there rather than drop again.
The big deal of the week was the trade market - my pitching has been solid, and so I decided to deal from strength. Did I acquire a hitter? I tried to, but in the end I was happy with the deal I made. Sixteen Brendan (whose name should be SEVENTEEN Brendan as that's the actual name of the girl's magazine to which he is addicted) is sitting near the bottom of the standings and had a struggling first rounder in Jimmy Rollins. I also saw he had Mr. Eric Bedard, I player I like but always find the price to be too high. I tried to get them both, and convinced Brendan I was desperate for Bedard, all the while offering solid-producing Dustin Pedroia for Rollins. I ended up getting Bedard for Buerhle. Brendan may get a few more wins out of it, and hopefully I'll get a lot more strikeouts since Bedard has a good K rate (8.95 K per 9 innings) and Buerhle never strikes out anyone. I still may deal pitching away once Hiroki Kuroda comes back and hopefully get some power hitting in return. Somewhat related: Nipple Jeff is also trying to deal away starting pitching, so the market may be crowded. In summary: I'm happy I made a deal, but sad I didn't get Rollins.
In Week 9 I face Single Thong Joe, who got into the league by trying to do something not-so manly and got caught by his girlfriend. That's right, she walked in as he was trying on one of her thongs. She bolted and wouldn't speak to him for over a week. Her dad called Joe and set up a delivery date for her stuff to be handed off to him. Somehow, once she listened to the story of why he was doing such a ridiculous thing (to get into an exclusive ESPN fantasy league), she took him back. Are they still together right now? Will they break up over my approaching victory over Joe? Fingers crossed...
Week 6 v. Put it on the boooooooard! Tim
I'm not going to lie to you. It was rough. Real rough. But enough about me being too sick to post this entry on its appointed day, and on to the foreshadowing that was the fantasy week prior. Luckily, I told you something about Put it on the boooooooard! Tim before, so I will skip that now. His squad smacked me around good. I lost ALL pitching categories, that's right, ALL of them. ERA and WHIP were close, though. A rough outing from Wakey, Wakey plus the curse of Brandon Lyon (more on that later) did not help there. I caught up on Saturday, but Tim got a gem from Roy Halladay on Sunday.
Surprisingly my hitting was very competitive with his team. He's been near the top on that side for much of the year - he's got a killer middle infield duo of superstar Hanley Ramirez and super-sleeper Aaron Hill. I managed to win RBI and steals. I was ahead on average and runs at different points. Nine home runs seems like a lot from my crew. But the big loss hurts nonetheless as it drops me to 4th in the Megan Fox Division, and 8th overall in the league. If the playoffs started today, I'd be the last team in. This position is even sketchier than it seems, though.
I also lost two players this week: Conor Jackson and Luke Scott. Scott's been good, and he apparently wrenched his shoulder and could be out for a long time. Since this entry is very late coming, we now know he'll be okay sooner rather than later. Jackson, on the other hand, has been awful. He will join Carlos Guillen on my DL. Hopefully they'll each figure out how to play baseball again before they return. So my team will have a real short bench coming up. Luckily the scare from Pedroia turned out to be nothing and I snagged a good buy off the waiver wire in the form of Willy Aybar. With Pat Burrell out, he should see lots of time at DH in the middle of a nice Rays lineup. Well at least he's better than Brandon Lyon. Then again, so is a month-old bacon and mayonnaise sandwich found under the refrigerator.
The opponent for Week 8 is Nipple Jeff. What was that again? Jeff earned his nickname by attempting to calm his crying, probably hungry, newborn. Only his wife wasn't around, so he had to improvise. He thought he might fool the baby temporarily by offering what he had available. Fortunately the child was smart enough to recognize that this was not mom's comforting bosom. Given all of that, I hope I beat this guy. Fingers crossed...
Surprisingly my hitting was very competitive with his team. He's been near the top on that side for much of the year - he's got a killer middle infield duo of superstar Hanley Ramirez and super-sleeper Aaron Hill. I managed to win RBI and steals. I was ahead on average and runs at different points. Nine home runs seems like a lot from my crew. But the big loss hurts nonetheless as it drops me to 4th in the Megan Fox Division, and 8th overall in the league. If the playoffs started today, I'd be the last team in. This position is even sketchier than it seems, though.
I also lost two players this week: Conor Jackson and Luke Scott. Scott's been good, and he apparently wrenched his shoulder and could be out for a long time. Since this entry is very late coming, we now know he'll be okay sooner rather than later. Jackson, on the other hand, has been awful. He will join Carlos Guillen on my DL. Hopefully they'll each figure out how to play baseball again before they return. So my team will have a real short bench coming up. Luckily the scare from Pedroia turned out to be nothing and I snagged a good buy off the waiver wire in the form of Willy Aybar. With Pat Burrell out, he should see lots of time at DH in the middle of a nice Rays lineup. Well at least he's better than Brandon Lyon. Then again, so is a month-old bacon and mayonnaise sandwich found under the refrigerator.
The opponent for Week 8 is Nipple Jeff. What was that again? Jeff earned his nickname by attempting to calm his crying, probably hungry, newborn. Only his wife wasn't around, so he had to improvise. He thought he might fool the baby temporarily by offering what he had available. Fortunately the child was smart enough to recognize that this was not mom's comforting bosom. Given all of that, I hope I beat this guy. Fingers crossed...
Week 5 v. Gotta Have Faith Steve
Remember all that gnashing of teeth about my team's identity last week?
On Saturday I tried to change that. I began a conversation to trade for notoriously slow-starter Mark Teixeira, who is sure to improve his average and provide much needed power all while playing in the super-homer-friendly New Yankee Stadium. A classic buy-low situation, and I was ready to pounce. Problem was, my trading 'buddy' Weaseling Brian wanted Pedroia. I was willing to give up Pedroia, but not leave a gaping hole in my middle infield. He only wanted to deal them straight-up. At that rate, I didn't feel like I was buying low on Teixeira anymore, I felt like I was paying full value. The difference between Pedroia and a replacement player (Augie Ojeda, ick) was greater than Tex and my current 1Bs Conor Jackson/Russell Branyan. So Mr. Mistoffeles snuck in and bought REALLY low, getting Tex for Stephen Drew and Tommy Hanson. It stinks to lose out on a player, but it stinks worse to lose out when you were giving a better offer.
So what of this team's identity, eh? Well it turned out just like Denny Green would say.
My pitching remained strong, as I won all but K's. Steve streamed pitchers, had 13 starts on the week, and leads the entire league in that category, so I wasn't going to win that one anyway. On offense, all categories were closely contested, although I led runs & RBI for almost the entire week. I had the lead in HR until Sunday. We went back and forth on average, with the Sawx-Rays game deciding it after Pedroia pulled his groin to finish hitless. I made a furious comeback late in the week on steals, with Mr. Castillo nabbing me two on the final day, but we still fell short and had to settle for a 6-4 victory.
So I thought I might beat Steve 8-2 or 7-2-1 and leap past him into first place. Alas, Steve's quality lineup put an end to that AND Put it on the Boooooooooaaaard! Tim took down Little Black Dress Dave by a large enough margin to put him in a tie for first. So I sit in third, again facing the team directly in front of me. I think I know more about this Tim guy that most of the people in the league. He seems willing to put himself out there, anyway. He is currently working on a comedy podcast and also has tried his hand at stand up. You can sample his work on stage (NSFW) here. You have been warned.
Banter Boys Blog
He seems to be a decent enough guy and he really likes Disney stuff. I can find flaws in his fantasy play so far, but I think he's a good player overall. The numbers say he should beat me, especially with Pedroia and Luke Scott out for me. But I've watched Tim fall down hard before (thank you, Interwebs), and he could do it again. Fingers crossed...
On Saturday I tried to change that. I began a conversation to trade for notoriously slow-starter Mark Teixeira, who is sure to improve his average and provide much needed power all while playing in the super-homer-friendly New Yankee Stadium. A classic buy-low situation, and I was ready to pounce. Problem was, my trading 'buddy' Weaseling Brian wanted Pedroia. I was willing to give up Pedroia, but not leave a gaping hole in my middle infield. He only wanted to deal them straight-up. At that rate, I didn't feel like I was buying low on Teixeira anymore, I felt like I was paying full value. The difference between Pedroia and a replacement player (Augie Ojeda, ick) was greater than Tex and my current 1Bs Conor Jackson/Russell Branyan. So Mr. Mistoffeles snuck in and bought REALLY low, getting Tex for Stephen Drew and Tommy Hanson. It stinks to lose out on a player, but it stinks worse to lose out when you were giving a better offer.
So what of this team's identity, eh? Well it turned out just like Denny Green would say.
My pitching remained strong, as I won all but K's. Steve streamed pitchers, had 13 starts on the week, and leads the entire league in that category, so I wasn't going to win that one anyway. On offense, all categories were closely contested, although I led runs & RBI for almost the entire week. I had the lead in HR until Sunday. We went back and forth on average, with the Sawx-Rays game deciding it after Pedroia pulled his groin to finish hitless. I made a furious comeback late in the week on steals, with Mr. Castillo nabbing me two on the final day, but we still fell short and had to settle for a 6-4 victory.
So I thought I might beat Steve 8-2 or 7-2-1 and leap past him into first place. Alas, Steve's quality lineup put an end to that AND Put it on the Boooooooooaaaard! Tim took down Little Black Dress Dave by a large enough margin to put him in a tie for first. So I sit in third, again facing the team directly in front of me. I think I know more about this Tim guy that most of the people in the league. He seems willing to put himself out there, anyway. He is currently working on a comedy podcast and also has tried his hand at stand up. You can sample his work on stage (NSFW) here. You have been warned.
Banter Boys Blog
He seems to be a decent enough guy and he really likes Disney stuff. I can find flaws in his fantasy play so far, but I think he's a good player overall. The numbers say he should beat me, especially with Pedroia and Luke Scott out for me. But I've watched Tim fall down hard before (thank you, Interwebs), and he could do it again. Fingers crossed...
Week 4 v. Margarita Matt
Well, it was bound to happen sometime. I lost a match-up in the Man's League. Margarita Matt, a fellow BGSU Falcon, defeated me 7-3. Even though I had been trailing almost all week by that same 7-3 score, I thought I had a shot at it on Saturday afternoon, when a furious rally managed to even things at five-all. But it was not to be, even with my brilliant pick-up of currently-raking but in a platoon Kevin Millar and Russell Branyan's crazy-hot streak. So as I cry into my Cheerios, I figured I would do a little analysis to determine why I lost and decide whether to panic, er, how much to panic.
The only categories I took were steals, wins, & saves. That's right, I lost all the average categories (ERA, WHIP, AVG). Hmmm. I did manage to maintain that winning streak in wins, where I'm 4-0 on the year. A closer look at the numbers on the season is even more revealing:
Except that uber-powerful second week against BARF, my numbers are pretty consistent across the board. Kind of amazing considering this is a weekly league we're talking about. There are supposed to be wild ups and downs. Only my team batting average is playing that way right now. But that doesn't have me worried.
So then, am I concerned about HR & RBI? No, not really. Take out that 2nd week, and I know what I'm getting: 6 HR, 27-30 RBI. Where I am concerned is in crossing the plate. I have designs on winning this category with 'top-of-the-order' type guys who should get more opportunities to score. Cristian Guzman & Luis Castillo didn't take care of that in Week 4. Both have been banged up, yes. But that just shows me how important they are to my squad and how much my strategy depends upon their chances. It makes me a little nervous.
Pitching-wise I am seeing insanely solid numbers, even though it was my worst ERA week of the year. Justin Verlander single-handedly beat me here with a stud performance on Sunday. Credit to him and Margarita Matt. I am worried about strikeouts just a little because they keep going down and I'm really dependent on Oswalt & Wakefield to get them.
In conclusion, I'm not going to panic. I have been offered a trade that would cost me my only closer but would let me get a power hitter I really like. I'm not going to do it. I'm just going to sit in second place behind Gotta Have Faith Steve and try to beat him down in this week's match-up. Fingers crossed...
The only categories I took were steals, wins, & saves. That's right, I lost all the average categories (ERA, WHIP, AVG). Hmmm. I did manage to maintain that winning streak in wins, where I'm 4-0 on the year. A closer look at the numbers on the season is even more revealing:
| GP | R | HR | RBI | SB | AVG | GS | K | W | SV | ERA | WHIP | |||
| 78 | 41 | 6 | 27 | 6 | .237 | 10 | 43 | 5 | 0 | 3.52 | 1.16 | |||
| 71 | 45 | 13 | 49 | 2 | .319 | 5 | 36 | 4 | 2 | 3.26 | 1.40 | |||
| 71 | 38 | 5 | 30 | 3 | .313 | 6 | 32 | 4 | 3 | 3.28 | 1.26 | |||
| 77 | 35 | 6 | 29 | 5 | .237 | 7 | 26 | 4 | 2 | 3.67 | 1.39 |
Except that uber-powerful second week against BARF, my numbers are pretty consistent across the board. Kind of amazing considering this is a weekly league we're talking about. There are supposed to be wild ups and downs. Only my team batting average is playing that way right now. But that doesn't have me worried.
So then, am I concerned about HR & RBI? No, not really. Take out that 2nd week, and I know what I'm getting: 6 HR, 27-30 RBI. Where I am concerned is in crossing the plate. I have designs on winning this category with 'top-of-the-order' type guys who should get more opportunities to score. Cristian Guzman & Luis Castillo didn't take care of that in Week 4. Both have been banged up, yes. But that just shows me how important they are to my squad and how much my strategy depends upon their chances. It makes me a little nervous.
Pitching-wise I am seeing insanely solid numbers, even though it was my worst ERA week of the year. Justin Verlander single-handedly beat me here with a stud performance on Sunday. Credit to him and Margarita Matt. I am worried about strikeouts just a little because they keep going down and I'm really dependent on Oswalt & Wakefield to get them.
In conclusion, I'm not going to panic. I have been offered a trade that would cost me my only closer but would let me get a power hitter I really like. I'm not going to do it. I'm just going to sit in second place behind Gotta Have Faith Steve and try to beat him down in this week's match-up. Fingers crossed...
Week 3 v. Team Laurie
There's only one way to go: down. I now sit atop the entire Man's League with a 21-7-2 record. But Bedwetter Brent & Gotta Have Faith Steve are right behind me. Still, at least I can say I was once in first place. Hopefully we can stay there.
Here's how it went against Team Laurie: From the mound, I took wins, saves, ERA, and WHIP. Hey, hey, Ryan Franklin, closer of the now! My pitching continues to be strong overall, strong like the odors in an overcrowded beach-front dog kennel doubling as a storage closet for used hockey equipment. Very happy with Wakefield so far, and my other starters have been as good as expected. From the plate, things finally went according to plan. I won runs, steals, and average. Another surprise in home runs - a tie with just five. Credit to Ichiro & Pedroia for playing 'their game'.
In general, I am worried about Geovany Soto. He's my one guy who hasn't done any of the stuff I got him for. If some others return to normal form (Branyan, Ethier, Scott, Ross), I will need his power production. I also made a big bench change this week, picking up Kevin Millar. He's not going to play often, but he is in the lineup when the Jays face lefties. And when he's in, he's been very hot. He scored 3 runs in 10 ABs this week, a nice pickup.
And finally, an update on just how good this team is. For the season, I am in the top 5 in five categories. I would say that's pretty good. Here's the breakdown:
3rd in Runs (124)
5th in Avg. (.289)
4th in Wins (13)
3rd in ERA (3.38)
3rd in WHIP (1.26)
(sad side note: I am in the bottom 5 in strikeouts.)
See the trick there? No first place in anything! So are these really team strengths or just hot starts? I would like to believe they're strengths, for one main reason - these are the categories I was TRYING to win when I drafted this team. Could this all be a mirage? Absolutely! it is way too early to figure anything out for sure. Except that after three weeks, I've won all my games. In week 4, I face Margarita Matt. Fingers crossed...
Here's how it went against Team Laurie: From the mound, I took wins, saves, ERA, and WHIP. Hey, hey, Ryan Franklin, closer of the now! My pitching continues to be strong overall, strong like the odors in an overcrowded beach-front dog kennel doubling as a storage closet for used hockey equipment. Very happy with Wakefield so far, and my other starters have been as good as expected. From the plate, things finally went according to plan. I won runs, steals, and average. Another surprise in home runs - a tie with just five. Credit to Ichiro & Pedroia for playing 'their game'.
In general, I am worried about Geovany Soto. He's my one guy who hasn't done any of the stuff I got him for. If some others return to normal form (Branyan, Ethier, Scott, Ross), I will need his power production. I also made a big bench change this week, picking up Kevin Millar. He's not going to play often, but he is in the lineup when the Jays face lefties. And when he's in, he's been very hot. He scored 3 runs in 10 ABs this week, a nice pickup.
And finally, an update on just how good this team is. For the season, I am in the top 5 in five categories. I would say that's pretty good. Here's the breakdown:
3rd in Runs (124)
5th in Avg. (.289)
4th in Wins (13)
3rd in ERA (3.38)
3rd in WHIP (1.26)
(sad side note: I am in the bottom 5 in strikeouts.)
See the trick there? No first place in anything! So are these really team strengths or just hot starts? I would like to believe they're strengths, for one main reason - these are the categories I was TRYING to win when I drafted this team. Could this all be a mirage? Absolutely! it is way too early to figure anything out for sure. Except that after three weeks, I've won all my games. In week 4, I face Margarita Matt. Fingers crossed...
Week 2 v. Regurgitated Ted
Thank you, power supply. I was worried heading into the season - where would my power come from? Jermaine Dye, sure. Cody Ross, maybe, but with a pretty rough average. Andre Ethier? He was going to be good, I was sure. But this good? I had no idea. 4 home runs and 12 RBI = MVP of week two. Even Ichiro got me a home run and 4 RBI once he returned from the DL. Take that, evil ulcer of doom! I took those two categories as well as average on the offensive side. My starters were once again strong on the mound, where I took wins, ERA, and WHIP. Bonus: I even found a closer!! Ryan Franklin got me two saves (not a ton, but enough to win) and he's in line for more opportunities in that crazy twilight zone known as the Cardinals bullpen.
The bad news, in bullet-point format:
The bad news, in bullet-point format:
- Hot-start Cristian Guzman is on the DL with a hamstring problem. Not good for a slap-hitting run scorer. Darn.
- David Freese is probably going to be sent down. I'll need to replace him, and the waiver wire is looking pretty slim. Well, it was, is, and will be.
- All that good news from above must be tempered with reality. Ethier will not produce like this every week. Sure, he'll benefit from being right in the middle of a very good Dodgers lineup, but this was the extreme high end of the curve.
- I didn't rack up many strikeouts. My starters are not full of K's. This could be a problem at some point. Or at a lot of points.
- Despite my two wins, I am not obviously superior in any categories in the overall league picture. Am I the beneficiary of some early-season luck? Yes. How much? Um, let me get back to you.
Week 1 v. Little Black Dress Dave
It's a Man's League. All the teams have to have flaws. We go really deep just to fill out the rosters. But which flaws will hurt more? I guess that's why we play the season.
So heading into the first week, I didn't know how I matched up with my opponent, Little Black Dress Dave. Dave made one of the best Name Game drops out there, so we had that 'have made production for the podcast pro bono' thing in common. Then just before the season began, I got bad news about Ichiro - he was tired because he had a bleeding ulcer. Not cool!!! Early on, I was able to build a big lead in pitching thanks to Derek Lowe's fine opening night performance. I maintained that lead all week. We knew Dave was going to win saves (he actually has closers), and I was going to take Wins (I have a lot of starters).
What was surprising to me about the matchup was that I pulled out some hitting categories despite missing Ichiro (my #2 pick) and Geovany Soto (my #4 pick, who hurt his shoulder 3 games in). Somehow my lineup, which I thought to be weak on power, cobbled together enough HRs to earn a tie there. Jermaine Dye, my main power source, had a key HR on Sunday to earn that split as well as the point for RBI. My speed was good enough even without Ichiro, and my top-of-the-lineup guys scored enough runs to take that too. My batting average stunk. But that's too be expected with Ichiro out.
So yeah, I won the first week, and by a good score too. I am pleasantly surprised because my best lineup was definitely not out there. But looking at the league averages, I know that my offense would not have fared so well against many other opponents. This turn of fortune has me sitting tied atop the Megan Fox Division at 7-2-1. Can only go down from here!
Now we move on to face Regurgitated Ted, who lost to Put it on the Boooooooard! Tim by the score of 3-5-2 in his opening matchup. He took the power categories (Pujols, don'tcha know), but couldn't muster much else. His pitching seems okay, but could definitely cripple me if he gets fantasy goodness from his aces. Fingers crossed...
So heading into the first week, I didn't know how I matched up with my opponent, Little Black Dress Dave. Dave made one of the best Name Game drops out there, so we had that 'have made production for the podcast pro bono' thing in common. Then just before the season began, I got bad news about Ichiro - he was tired because he had a bleeding ulcer. Not cool!!! Early on, I was able to build a big lead in pitching thanks to Derek Lowe's fine opening night performance. I maintained that lead all week. We knew Dave was going to win saves (he actually has closers), and I was going to take Wins (I have a lot of starters).
What was surprising to me about the matchup was that I pulled out some hitting categories despite missing Ichiro (my #2 pick) and Geovany Soto (my #4 pick, who hurt his shoulder 3 games in). Somehow my lineup, which I thought to be weak on power, cobbled together enough HRs to earn a tie there. Jermaine Dye, my main power source, had a key HR on Sunday to earn that split as well as the point for RBI. My speed was good enough even without Ichiro, and my top-of-the-lineup guys scored enough runs to take that too. My batting average stunk. But that's too be expected with Ichiro out.
So yeah, I won the first week, and by a good score too. I am pleasantly surprised because my best lineup was definitely not out there. But looking at the league averages, I know that my offense would not have fared so well against many other opponents. This turn of fortune has me sitting tied atop the Megan Fox Division at 7-2-1. Can only go down from here!
Now we move on to face Regurgitated Ted, who lost to Put it on the Boooooooard! Tim by the score of 3-5-2 in his opening matchup. He took the power categories (Pujols, don'tcha know), but couldn't muster much else. His pitching seems okay, but could definitely cripple me if he gets fantasy goodness from his aces. Fingers crossed...
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